May it please Thee, O Lord. to deliver me: for, poor wretch that I am, what can I do, and whither shall I go without Thee? How much the more difficult this is to me, so much the easier to Thee, is the change of the right hand of the Most High (Ps 76:2)
In spite of all the graces Heaven was showering upon me, I was far from deserving them. I had a great desire for virtue, but all that I did was full of imperfections. I was so sensitive that I was a very great trial to others; it was once and for all, and God worked this little miracle to make me grow up on a date I shall never forget: December 25, 1886. The newborn Child turned my darkness into light; having for my sake became small and weak, He made me strong and brave; He armed me with His own weapons, and after that I ran my course like a giant (Ps 18), going from victory to victory. The fountain of my tears was dried up, and very rarely flowed again. This is how I received the grace of conversion.....They still treated me at home like a baby, filling my shoes with presents and putting them by the fire-place on Christmas Eve. My father had always shared in my delight as I drew out each gift, but this year Our Lord wished to cure me of my childishness. As I went up to my room after midnight Mass, I heard my father say: "Therese is too big a girl for such nonsense ; I hope this will be the last year." The words cut me to the heart, and Celine, knowing my sensitiveness, begged me not to go down at once, as I would be sure to cry, but I was no longer the same, Jesus had changed my heart. I went down to the dining-room as though nothing had happened, and gaily pulled out the presents one by one, my father joining in the merriment. Celine thought that she was dreaming, but the fact remained that I had found once more the fortitude I had lost at the age of four and a half. On that blessed night the third period of my life opened, the most beautiful and full of graces. The work I had attempted for years, was done in an instant by Our Lord, who accepted my good will. Like the Apostles, I could say: Master, we have laboured all the night, and have taken nothing (Luke 5:5), but Our Lord did more for me than He did for them, for He cast the net Himself and drew me into a fisher of souls. Charity took possession of my soul and filled me with the spirit of self-forgetfulness, and from that time I was always happy. (St Therese, Story of a Soul)
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